Biggest Bombs of All Time

This weekend Mars Needs Moms bombed BIG TIME at the box office...and I couldn't be happier. It looked horrible. Apparently it was horrible. In three weeks, it should be gone. You see, theaters are obligated to carry a film for 2 weeks, before dropping it. For box office flops, the third weekend is usually the last, or darn well close to it. There are many ways to determine what the biggest flop of all time is. Here are a few dubious honors.

Biggest Actual Loss: Cutthroat Island

Pirate movies are expensive. And typically unpopular, which is why there aren't many of them made. Pirates of the Caribbean is the one exception in the last twenty or so years. Cutthroat Island is the biggest bomb of all time in traditional terms. It cost $115,000,000 with marketing and made about $10,000,000 worldwide box office. That's an estimated loss of $105,000,000 (actually more when you consider that a certain % of the gross went to the theaters, not the studio) which adjusts to nearly $147 million today. Wow. It bankrupted Carolco Pictures, and hurt MGM big-time. This, along with a string of other flops, eventually killed MGM as a distributer. Talk about bad Juju.

Worst Opening Weekend at over 3,000 theaters: Hoot

May 5th, 2006, matched against Mission Impossible, at a massive 3,018 theaters, New Line Cinema released a movie about kids standing up to the establishment to save an owl. Too bad nobody gave a hoot, and it grossed only $3.4 million, ranking 10th for the weekend. It's average of $1,116 was even worst than Disney's bomb, "The Wild" in 12th place...in its FOURTH WEEKEND. It's second weekend was a relatively okay drop, (considering the bad word of mouth), dropping only 32%. But dropping 32% from an already disastrous opening, is still not good, and it was expelled from 2,200 theaters, left playing at only 818. This triggered a third weekend drop of 82%, and Hoot ended its run after five weeks with only a little over $8 mil.

Biggest Third Weekend Theater Drop: Meet Dave

Meet Dave was a flop. Opening at 3,011 theaters (that's a lot, trust me) it earned only $5.3 million, ranking seventh at the box office. That's the third worst opening for a movie playing at over 3,000 theaters, behind "Hoot" and "The Seeker: The Dark is Rising". Unlike those two films though, Dave was in the middle of the busy summer season, and there was much better films the theaters wanted to play instead of the unprofitable Dave (which averaged just $1,744 per theater, compared with $2,334 average for the #6 film that weekend, Get Smart...which was in its FOURTH WEEKEND!). After a 68% second weekend drop (then averaging just $551, raking #11 for the weekend, behind Kung Fu Panda, which averaged $1,236...in its SEVENTH WEEKEND) it was kicked out of 2,523 theaters, left playing at only 448. Dave ended his run with less than $12 million, on a $60 million budget. Ouch.

Worst Opening at over 2,000 Theaters: Delgo

I said earlier that Theaters are usually obligated to carry a film for at least two weeks before kicking it out and playing something successful. That's not always the case though. There are limits. Say hello to Delgo, arguably the biggest bomb of all time. Opening at 2,160 theaters, Delgo earned only $512,000 for a per theater average of $237. That's horrible. Delgo left theaters after seven days with less than $700k. I can only imagine that the studio was so embararessed that they wanted to save some face on the horrible misfortune that had befallen them. For perspective, the second worst opening at over 2,000 theaters was for P2, which earned over $2million at 2,131 theaters. Delgo is the worst, by a wide margin.

Worst Opening for a wide Release (600+ Theters): Proud American

Never heard of it? Don't worry, no one else has either. Opening at 750 theaters, Proud American earned only $96,076, averaging $128 per theater, an all time worst for a wide release opening. Unlike Delgo, it managed to stick around 14 days, but it lost 744 theaters it's second weekend, and 99.6% of it's gross. It left theaters with only $131,000. Words fail me.

Rango

I didn't want to do a post about Rango until I've seen it, but I really wanted to. Rango is causing some minor controversy, which seems likely to only get bigger after the first weekend. As far as box office it's doing attendance in the same ball-park as How to Train your Dragon, but don't expect it to have the same legs. Apparently some elements of the film are considered "not kid-friendly". Many parents have complained about the violence and language used in the film. Some of them even think the film deserved a PG-13. A response to this has been "hey, just cuz it's animated don't mean its for kids!". While I agree with this, you can't deny that the film was marketed to children. Kids meals at Burger King, ads all over Nickelodeon and other kids TV (it is a Nickelodeon movie) and trailers played in front of other more "family friendly" animated movies. This isn't the first time this has happened. The black cauldron, All Dogs go to Heaven, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Incredibles: all were arguably not kid-friendly, but aggressively targeted towards children. So what's my opinion? Well as I have yet to see the movie, I can't really say, but let's be honest. Parents (bad parents) take their 5-year-olds to see Friday the 13th. Lots of kids (with good parents) went to see Lord of the Rings. A large chunk of CSI's audience is under 12. Is Rango really gonna do that much damage?

Also, I can't wait to see Rango, and this is just one more reason.