Self-explanatory. Warning: Excessive Number of Hyperlinks
10. MGMT
Okay, I have "Kids" on my iPod, so why am I criticizing them? Because that's there only good song. The vocals are grating, the synth blaring and they're just an all around lame band.
9. My Morning Jacket
Lame, overbearing, over dramatic...just plain bad. Insipid lyrics that the fans for some reason think are genius. A really lame band.
8. Snow Patrol
Boring. They're like the Goo Goo Dolls but not popular. That should be self-explanatory.
7. Broken Bells
Something's broken. Screechy vocals, derivative and unappealing melodies...just unlistenable garbage.
6. Never Shout Never
Another one who has made an appearance on my iPod. I enjoy his music, but I know it's garbage. It's uncreative manufactured light pop with no significance whatsoever. Guilty pleasure.
5. Orbs
Yes, more unlistenable garbage. If you can sit through an entire song, you have ears of steel or live in a mental instution...or should.
4. Tweak Birds
Will make you claw your ears out. I have no idea what they were going for, but they failed.
3. xeatmewhileimhotx
Uncreative bland emo screamo garbage.
2. Circa Survive
There new album, "Blue Sky Noise" (which obviously makes no sense) got positive reviews from altpress.com. Altpress is stupid.
1. Any and every "Myspace Band"
You know what I'm talking about. Bands that are doomed (destined) to be lost forever on myspace with 100-something followers. It doesn't matter how many times you post ADD ME on MCR's page, you aren't going to be famous. If you haven't broken through yet, you never will. Note: this only applies to bands who've been on Myspace for five years or more.
Okay that doesn't count...for real.
1. Metallica
They aren't indie I just wanted to bring them up because, I hate them.
Okay this is seriously #1.
1. Modest Mouse
I hate them I hate them I hate them.
The End.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
You band SUCKS! Part 2.
50. Carrie Underwood-Meh
49. Backstreet Boys-seriously? they're so 90's...meh, if you want lulz.
48. Alan Jackson-Murder him somebody
47. Maroon 5-If you like terrible music, you'll love them
46. Matchbox 20-Meh
45. Sean Paul-high meh
44. Fergie-Ugh...very low meh
43. Lil Wayne-Sucks
42. Miley Cyrus...do I even need to say it?
41. Ashanti-Who?
40. Dixie Chicks-Sucks
39. Faith Hill-in the right mood...meh
38. Taylor Swift-High Meh
37. Mary J. Blige-Can't name a single song...
36. Ja Rule-Who?
35. Santana-Rocks
34. R. Kelly-Sucks
33. Akon-Want to rip his face off and shove it down his throat...sucks
32. Outkast-sucks
31. Rascall Flats-Usually sucks, but overall meh
30. 3 Doors Down-Meh
29. Chris Brown-Beat him to death plz, kthx
28. Avril Lavigne-High meh
27. Jennifer Lopez-Taco taco, burrito burrito! Sucks
26. T. I.-Sucks
25. He who shall not be named (Kenny Chesney)-Sucks!
24. He who shall not be named (Justin Timberlake)-Sucks!
23. Tim McGraw-Sucks
22. He who shall not be named (Toby Keith)-Shut up parenthesis!
21. 'N Sync-SUCKS
20. Christina Aguilera-Mixed bag of Meh
19. Linkin Park-Old stuff was pretty good but new stuff is suck
18. Creed-Sucks
17. Rihanna-With one or two exeptions, sucks
16. Ludacris-Meh
15. He who shall not be named (Kanye West)-do you like fishsticks?
14. Kelly Clarkson-High Meh
13. P!nk-High meh
12. Them that shall not be named (The Black Eyed Peas)-imma be dead fool!
11. Mariah Carrey-High Meh
10. Jay-Z-Sucks
9. Destiny's Child-It is there destiny to suck
8. She who shall not be named (Britney Spears)-next please
7. Crazy Canadians who should be murdered (Nickelback)-KILL THEM! PLEASE SOMEONE!
6. 50 Cent-If you paid 50 cents for his album, you were robbed.
5. Alilcia Keys-Can sing, but not really my style...meh
4. Beyonce-Extremely low meh, so yeah, she sucks
3. Nelly-It's getting hot in here, because nelly sucked all the cold air out.
2. Usher-Anyone who says there own name in a song sucks...plus he hangs with Justin Bieber
1. Eminem-Before he sold out, he was good. That's a time long gone though.
49. Backstreet Boys-seriously? they're so 90's...meh, if you want lulz.
48. Alan Jackson-Murder him somebody
47. Maroon 5-If you like terrible music, you'll love them
46. Matchbox 20-Meh
45. Sean Paul-high meh
44. Fergie-Ugh...very low meh
43. Lil Wayne-Sucks
42. Miley Cyrus...do I even need to say it?
41. Ashanti-Who?
40. Dixie Chicks-Sucks
39. Faith Hill-in the right mood...meh
38. Taylor Swift-High Meh
37. Mary J. Blige-Can't name a single song...
36. Ja Rule-Who?
35. Santana-Rocks
34. R. Kelly-Sucks
33. Akon-Want to rip his face off and shove it down his throat...sucks
32. Outkast-sucks
31. Rascall Flats-Usually sucks, but overall meh
30. 3 Doors Down-Meh
29. Chris Brown-Beat him to death plz, kthx
28. Avril Lavigne-High meh
27. Jennifer Lopez-Taco taco, burrito burrito! Sucks
26. T. I.-Sucks
25. He who shall not be named (Kenny Chesney)-Sucks!
24. He who shall not be named (Justin Timberlake)-Sucks!
23. Tim McGraw-Sucks
22. He who shall not be named (Toby Keith)-Shut up parenthesis!
21. 'N Sync-SUCKS
20. Christina Aguilera-Mixed bag of Meh
19. Linkin Park-Old stuff was pretty good but new stuff is suck
18. Creed-Sucks
17. Rihanna-With one or two exeptions, sucks
16. Ludacris-Meh
15. He who shall not be named (Kanye West)-do you like fishsticks?
14. Kelly Clarkson-High Meh
13. P!nk-High meh
12. Them that shall not be named (The Black Eyed Peas)-imma be dead fool!
11. Mariah Carrey-High Meh
10. Jay-Z-Sucks
9. Destiny's Child-It is there destiny to suck
8. She who shall not be named (Britney Spears)-next please
7. Crazy Canadians who should be murdered (Nickelback)-KILL THEM! PLEASE SOMEONE!
6. 50 Cent-If you paid 50 cents for his album, you were robbed.
5. Alilcia Keys-Can sing, but not really my style...meh
4. Beyonce-Extremely low meh, so yeah, she sucks
3. Nelly-It's getting hot in here, because nelly sucked all the cold air out.
2. Usher-Anyone who says there own name in a song sucks...plus he hangs with Justin Bieber
1. Eminem-Before he sold out, he was good. That's a time long gone though.
You Band SUCKS!!!
SO that whole thing with Relient K and Disturbed...yeah I'm not doing that anymore, it was a stupid idea. Here's what I am doing. I'm taking the top 100 bands of the decade, according to billboard.com and breaking them down into three categories: sucks, meh, rocks.
Why? Cuz I felt like it.
100. Flo Rida-Sucks
99. Lonestar-Who?
98. Mario-Sucks
97. Katy Perry-Meh
96. Enya-Meh
95. Jessica Simpson-Sucks
94. Sisqo-Who?
93. Fall-Out Boy-high meh
92. Timbaland-meh
91. Joe....wait, just Joe? That's the name of the group?
90. Daughtry-Meh
89. No Doubt-Low Meh
88. Jagged Edge-Who?
87. U2-Meh
86. Chingy-Seriously? Who?
85. Shaggy-Scooby snack anyone?
84. The Fray-Sucks
83. Red Hot Chili Peppers-Meh
82. Bow Wow-Meh
81. Limp Bizkit-Sucks
80. The Pussycat Dolls-Sucks
79. The Beatles-Wow, they made it for this decade? Awesome! ROCKS!
78. Lifehouse-Sucks
77. Brad Paisly-Sucks
76. Shakira-Sucks
75. Staind-Sucks
74. Enrique Igelsias-Sucks
73. Lady Gaga-Rocks
72. Shandia Twain-Who?
71. Evanescence-High Meh (Amy Lee's solo work is good, but they're really a 1-hit wonder)
70. Aaliyah-Who?
69. John Mayer-SUCKS SO MUCH I WANT TO MURDER HIM!!!
68. Keith Urban-Sucks
67. Janet Jackson-Meh
66. Nelly Furtado-Who?
65. Dave Matthews Band-Meh
64. Snoop Dogg-Sucks
63. George Strait-Sucks
62. Ciara-Sucks
61. Green Day-Rocks for the most part...latest is meh
60. Norah Jones-Rocks, in the right mood
59. Josh Grobabn-Rocks, in the right mood
58. Madonna-Sucks
57. Ne-Yo-High Meh
56. Celine Dion-Meh
55. T-Pain-Sucks so much I want to kill him
54. Gwen Stefani-Sucks
53. Coldplay-High meh, in the right mood.
52. Missy Elliot-Who?
51. Kid Rock-Sucks so much I want to kill him.
Top 50 coming soon.
Why? Cuz I felt like it.
100. Flo Rida-Sucks
99. Lonestar-Who?
98. Mario-Sucks
97. Katy Perry-Meh
96. Enya-Meh
95. Jessica Simpson-Sucks
94. Sisqo-Who?
93. Fall-Out Boy-high meh
92. Timbaland-meh
91. Joe....wait, just Joe? That's the name of the group?
90. Daughtry-Meh
89. No Doubt-Low Meh
88. Jagged Edge-Who?
87. U2-Meh
86. Chingy-Seriously? Who?
85. Shaggy-Scooby snack anyone?
84. The Fray-Sucks
83. Red Hot Chili Peppers-Meh
82. Bow Wow-Meh
81. Limp Bizkit-Sucks
80. The Pussycat Dolls-Sucks
79. The Beatles-Wow, they made it for this decade? Awesome! ROCKS!
78. Lifehouse-Sucks
77. Brad Paisly-Sucks
76. Shakira-Sucks
75. Staind-Sucks
74. Enrique Igelsias-Sucks
73. Lady Gaga-Rocks
72. Shandia Twain-Who?
71. Evanescence-High Meh (Amy Lee's solo work is good, but they're really a 1-hit wonder)
70. Aaliyah-Who?
69. John Mayer-SUCKS SO MUCH I WANT TO MURDER HIM!!!
68. Keith Urban-Sucks
67. Janet Jackson-Meh
66. Nelly Furtado-Who?
65. Dave Matthews Band-Meh
64. Snoop Dogg-Sucks
63. George Strait-Sucks
62. Ciara-Sucks
61. Green Day-Rocks for the most part...latest is meh
60. Norah Jones-Rocks, in the right mood
59. Josh Grobabn-Rocks, in the right mood
58. Madonna-Sucks
57. Ne-Yo-High Meh
56. Celine Dion-Meh
55. T-Pain-Sucks so much I want to kill him
54. Gwen Stefani-Sucks
53. Coldplay-High meh, in the right mood.
52. Missy Elliot-Who?
51. Kid Rock-Sucks so much I want to kill him.
Top 50 coming soon.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Disturbed vs. Relient K: How to Make Money vs. Making Good Music
In the music business there are too types of bands. Those in it for the money, and those in it for the music. This is a guide to achieving both goals.
Step 1: the First Album
After making it through the nightmare of somehow getting signed by a major label, you have to make an album. Let's examine how the two groups did.
Disturbed: The Sickness
The album is straight-forward a lot of the same sounding stuff, with angry lyrics and an overall lack of quality. Still, commendable as a first effort. B
Relient K: Relient K
Again straight-forward, amusing lyrics, lighthearted beats, not a lot of complexity, fairly low overall quality. B+
A first album is responsible for defining a band's sound, but the sophomore album is to distinguish a band's quality. If a band's first album is there best, (TFK, MGMT, Sum 41) than there's no where to build to.
Step 2: The Sophomore Album
This is where we find our disconnect. If a band stays the same, they'll invariably decline in quality. There's only so many angry angsty songs you can make. You need a bit of a style change to foster creativity. However, too much of a change (or practically any change) will tend to alienate some of your audience. A prime example of this is Family Force 5. The first album was hardcore crunk, the second was a synth-pop dance record. Subsequently, they lost a lot of there fan-base, and surprise surprise, plan to return to the old style for there third album. (for the record, I liked Dance or Die). Let's see how our test subjects do.
Disturbed: Believe
Basically identical to their first record. A bit more accomplished, but once again a lot of similar songs. It seems like they spent more time on the album cover than writing the songs. Disappointing lack of growth. C.
Relient K: The Anatomy of Tongue in Cheek
A great improvement. The difference between Relient K and Disturbed here, is that Disturbed broke out of the box with their first album. Relient K, well, didn't. This is there breakout and rightfully so. The album is lengthy, in the best way. The songs all sound similar, but there definitely distinguishable, and very unique. The lyrics are a huge improvement, and the music is a bit more proficient too. A.
Will continue this soon, after I do a bit more research.
Step 1: the First Album
After making it through the nightmare of somehow getting signed by a major label, you have to make an album. Let's examine how the two groups did.
Disturbed: The Sickness
The album is straight-forward a lot of the same sounding stuff, with angry lyrics and an overall lack of quality. Still, commendable as a first effort. B
Relient K: Relient K
Again straight-forward, amusing lyrics, lighthearted beats, not a lot of complexity, fairly low overall quality. B+
A first album is responsible for defining a band's sound, but the sophomore album is to distinguish a band's quality. If a band's first album is there best, (TFK, MGMT, Sum 41) than there's no where to build to.
Step 2: The Sophomore Album
This is where we find our disconnect. If a band stays the same, they'll invariably decline in quality. There's only so many angry angsty songs you can make. You need a bit of a style change to foster creativity. However, too much of a change (or practically any change) will tend to alienate some of your audience. A prime example of this is Family Force 5. The first album was hardcore crunk, the second was a synth-pop dance record. Subsequently, they lost a lot of there fan-base, and surprise surprise, plan to return to the old style for there third album. (for the record, I liked Dance or Die). Let's see how our test subjects do.
Disturbed: Believe
Basically identical to their first record. A bit more accomplished, but once again a lot of similar songs. It seems like they spent more time on the album cover than writing the songs. Disappointing lack of growth. C.
Relient K: The Anatomy of Tongue in Cheek
A great improvement. The difference between Relient K and Disturbed here, is that Disturbed broke out of the box with their first album. Relient K, well, didn't. This is there breakout and rightfully so. The album is lengthy, in the best way. The songs all sound similar, but there definitely distinguishable, and very unique. The lyrics are a huge improvement, and the music is a bit more proficient too. A.
Will continue this soon, after I do a bit more research.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The fall of the Album.
Everyone knows album sales have been growing weaker and weaker every year, while single sales have grown higher and higher. But you may not have realized how quickly it has happened, and that there's no end in sight. Today, 25,000 album sales will get you a spot in the top 10. This week, "The Devil Wears Prada" released a new EP, entitled "Zombie" which did just that. It hit #10 with first week sales of 25,000.
On the comparable frame last year, the #10 spot was held by "Now That's What I call Music 31", which sold 33,000 albums.
In 2008, Shwayze's debut album "Shwayze" (real creative there) entered at #10 with sales of 47,000. 0_o.
But why stop there? Let's look at the chart week ending March 7, 2010.
Lifehouse's Smoke & Mirrors hit #6 with sales of 54,000. In March 2007, Relient K's Five Score and Seven years ago opened to #6 with sales of 62,000. Not a good comparison? Whatever I just wanted to bring it up.
anyway...randomness....
On the comparable frame last year, the #10 spot was held by "Now That's What I call Music 31", which sold 33,000 albums.
In 2008, Shwayze's debut album "Shwayze" (real creative there) entered at #10 with sales of 47,000. 0_o.
But why stop there? Let's look at the chart week ending March 7, 2010.
Lifehouse's Smoke & Mirrors hit #6 with sales of 54,000. In March 2007, Relient K's Five Score and Seven years ago opened to #6 with sales of 62,000. Not a good comparison? Whatever I just wanted to bring it up.
anyway...randomness....
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